DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA (Copy)

My deepest apologies for the somewhat negative light on this recent post. It’s not in my nature to dwell on negative feelings, but sometimes there is a lesson to be learned for others.

I have always taught my children to “be the bigger person” and “avoid drama” in most situations. Even for adults this concept is difficult, but I have found happiness in trying my best to move on and live positively.

And for the few people who actually read my Blog, this isn’t about anyone who is currently in my family, friend group, work associates, etc. Any situation mentioned in this Blog is a person who has been out of my life for more than 30 years … no need to worry. And the impetus of this Blog has little to do with them, but more a lesson of the type of people to watch out for moving forward, and why it’s so difficult to “be the bigger person”.

I’m never going to deny my naivety, honestly, it’s what makes me “me”. I can happily go through life with my rose colored glasses, just like my mom always did. But people like me also tend to fall prey to narcissistic types, many times leading to embarrassingly years of chasing these people’s manipulating blame games.

I had a childhood friend for years. She was beautiful and popular and could fill the world with incredible “1-woman drama”. I fell for it hook-line-sinker. (And here comes the most embarrassing part …) I was her ugly sidekick. Seriously, I have no idea how I trapped myself into that category, so let’s just skip to the end.

My husband and I reconnected. I was having dinner at his parents house when a call came for me at his house (we all knew each other … for context). She ordered me to leave dinner and go directly to her house - apparently for an emergency. With apologies, I went straight to her home, as her faithful sidekick.

“He’s only using you to get to me, he’s in love with me.”

“Um, what?”

Now, in our entire history of friendship, this would have been believed; however, I happened to know that my husband, and his entire friend group, despised my friend and had often questioned the friendship I had with her. They having grown up with her as well. I had every reason to believe that she was lying to me about my then boyfriend’s indiscretion.

To make a much longer story short, we stopped being friends that day.

It was within the next few months that I began to realize the extend of my naivety. I started to count (on 2 hands and possibly toes) the amount of times I had fallen for this! Good lord … the shame was unbearable. Oh she’d let me have boyfriends from time to time (2), but only because they also could be manipulated and/or I was spending so much time with them that I wasn’t competition for her. Which is why it took me so long to uncover the truth.

Now I’ve moved on, only to have my life play out in the movie “Something Borrowed” with Ginnifer Goodwin and Kate Hudson (2011). Only my husband was NEVER hers, I didn’t steal anyone, and DID end up with the best guy. I’ve used the movie as a “lesson” for my daughters on how to carefully select friends.

Now, I love my life and I can’t help but think that all of this happened for a reason. My husband and I reconnected at the exact right moment. His influence and strong sense of self has been an inspirational light to me. Our marriage, and our children, has been my life-force and I am a better person because of their influence. But I always come back to this story when faced with narcissistic people. I am quick to watch for my natural tendency to accept blame and fall victim to their charms. Giving myself needed space. A lesson now for my offspring.

My girls often rely on me for life advice, and for the most part, they accept it. Having to tell them to take a step back from unhealthy friendships is difficult for both of us. Having to say yet again, perhaps this isn’t a healthy relationship for you. Maybe keep them at a distance for now. Focus on your new friendships. None of it is easy. But to have myself and a kiddo fall victim to a duplicate situation is something I didn’t see coming.

Here comes the lesson: “Let them go. Everything you learned from your mom tells you not to react. Be the bigger person. Let the drama go.

As a mom, I would be really interested to know if I failed these lessons. Am I triggered by my own history of naivety in asking her to take the road less traveled? What would she gain from confrontation? My guess, more manipulation.

Some friends can be kept at a careful distance, but there is that rare time when you’ve fallen victim for so long that it’s an abusive relationship.

My own abusive friendship falls into this category, so I put into place a self-imposed no contact order. I have not seen her since. Unfortunately, now it’s time for another. Never in my dreams would I have thought a similar scenario would occur, only remove guys and insert friends.

I write this Blog because maybe having it out in the universe will help avoid the need for confrontation, and manipulation. I have become hardened to these situations, but my mini-me is not. This hurts. But this realization happened at almost the exact point in life as mine, and I can’t deny I’m looking forward to watching her move on.

Bringing with her a few true friends, she has solidified a variety of very special people who love her joy and excitement for life. Making friends has never been her issue - but in true Sagittarius nature she desires to bring her friends together because she is certain they will all love each other! This is not always a good trait for the Sags. At some point we determine how to manage this natural instinct and learn from life’s lessons.

I want to be clear that these people are not inherently bad people. They have many, many good qualities. Our sensitive Sag natures are just not equipped to count them as friends. We easily fall victim to their manipulation, becoming the fall-guy for their insecurities and narcissism.

I have always hoped my person found her own happiness and I can only hope the same for the next generations. (More so for the latter because my old friend has not found joy in her life, never having learned any similar lessons in life, she is, I’ve heard, single, childless, without career and without many good friends. Attempting still to drum up past drama to keep herself relevant.)

In some small way, I hope this helps those people who find themselves in either of these situations - of the manipulator or the manipulated.

I’ll still ask her to “be the bigger person”.

Thanks for listening and apologies for the drama.

Gabby

DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA

My deepest apologies for the somewhat negative light on this recent post. It’s not in my nature to dwell on negative feelings, but sometimes there is a lesson to be learned for others.

I have always taught my children to “be the bigger person” and “avoid drama” in most situations. Even for adults this concept is difficult, but I have found happiness in trying my best to move on and live positively.

And for the few people who actually read my Blog, this isn’t about anyone who is currently in my family, friend group, work associates, etc. Any situation mentioned in this Blog is a person who has been out of my life for more than 30 years … no need to worry. And the impetus of this Blog has little to do with them, but more a lesson of the type of people to watch out for moving forward, and why it’s so difficult to “be the bigger person”.

I’m never going to deny my naivety, honestly, it’s what makes me “me”. I can happily go through life with my rose colored glasses, just like my mom always did. But people like me also tend to fall prey to narcissistic types, many times leading to embarrassingly years of chasing these people’s manipulating blame games.

I had a childhood friend for years. She was beautiful and popular and could fill the world with incredible “1-woman drama”. I fell for it hook-line-sinker. (And here comes the most embarrassing part …) I was her ugly sidekick. Seriously, I have no idea how I trapped myself into that category, so let’s just skip to the end.

My husband and I reconnected. I was having dinner at his parents house when a call came for me at his house (we all knew each other … for context). She ordered me to leave dinner and go directly to her house - apparently for an emergency. With apologies, I went straight to her home, as her faithful sidekick.

“He’s only using you to get to me, he’s in love with me.”

“Um, what?”

Now, in our entire history of friendship, this would have been believed; however, I happened to know that my husband, and his entire friend group, despised my friend and had often questioned the friendship I had with her. They having grown up with her as well. I had every reason to believe that she was lying to me about my then boyfriend’s indiscretion.

To make a much longer story short, we stopped being friends that day.

It was within the next few months that I began to realize the extend of my naivety. I started to count (on 2 hands and possibly toes) the amount of times I had fallen for this! Good lord … the shame was unbearable. Oh she’d let me have boyfriends from time to time (2), but only because they also could be manipulated and/or I was spending so much time with them that I wasn’t competition for her. Which is why it took me so long to uncover the truth.

Now I’ve moved on, only to have my life play out in the movie “Something Borrowed” with Ginnifer Goodwin and Kate Hudson (2011). Only my husband was NEVER hers, I didn’t steal anyone, and DID end up with the best guy. I’ve used the movie as a “lesson” for my daughters on how to carefully select friends.

Now, I love my life and I can’t help but think that all of this happened for a reason. My husband and I reconnected at the exact right moment. His influence and strong sense of self has been an inspirational light to me. Our marriage, and our children, has been my life-force and I am a better person because of their influence. But I always come back to this story when faced with narcissistic people. I am quick to watch for my natural tendency to accept blame and fall victim to their charms. Giving myself needed space. A lesson now for my offspring.

My girls often rely on me for life advice, and for the most part, they accept it. Having to tell them to take a step back from unhealthy friendships is difficult for both of us. Having to say yet again, perhaps this isn’t a healthy relationship for you. Maybe keep them at a distance for now. Focus on your new friendships. None of it is easy. But to have myself and a kiddo fall victim to a duplicate situation is something I didn’t see coming.

Here comes the lesson: “Let them go. Everything you learned from your mom tells you not to react. Be the bigger person. Let the drama go.

As a mom, I would be really interested to know if I failed these lessons. Am I triggered by my own history of naivety in asking her to take the road less traveled? What would she gain from confrontation? My guess, more manipulation.

Some friends can be kept at a careful distance, but there is that rare time when you’ve fallen victim for so long that it’s an abusive relationship.

My own abusive friendship falls into this category, so I put into place a self-imposed no contact order. I have not seen her since. Unfortunately, now it’s time for another. Never in my dreams would I have thought a similar scenario would occur, only remove guys and insert friends.

I write this Blog because maybe having it out in the universe will help avoid the need for confrontation, and manipulation. I have become hardened to these situations, but my mini-me is not. This hurts. But this realization happened at almost the exact point in life as mine, and I can’t deny I’m looking forward to watching her move on.

Bringing with her a few true friends, she has solidified a variety of very special people who love her joy and excitement for life. Making friends has never been her issue - but in true Sagittarius nature she desires to bring her friends together because she is certain they will all love each other! This is not always a good trait for the Sags. At some point we determine how to manage this natural instinct and learn from life’s lessons.

I want to be clear that these people are not inherently bad people. They have many, many good qualities. Our sensitive Sag natures are just not equipped to count them as friends. We easily fall victim to their manipulation, becoming the fall-guy for their insecurities and narcissism.

I have always hoped my person found her own happiness and I can only hope the same for the next generations. (More so for the latter because my old friend has not found joy in her life, never having learned any similar lessons in life, she is, I’ve heard, single, childless, without career and without many good friends. Attempting still to drum up past drama to keep herself relevant.)

In some small way, I hope this helps those people who find themselves in either of these situations - of the manipulator or the manipulated.

I’ll still ask her to “be the bigger person”.

Thanks for listening and apologies for the drama.

Gabby

My journey into the light

Light

“the natural agent that stimulates sight and makes things visible”

For those of you waiting for my long awaited tales of my journey from blindness to the light, I give you my story. My deepest apologies for the length, but this tale spans 3 full weeks, 2 surgeries and days of recovery.

Despite a complex set of pre-operative instructions, I made it to my surgery date, December 21st (also my 51st birthday). My blood pressure was spiking as the nurse removed my glasses and from that point on, I just prayed my new lens would not fail me.

Once I was connected to the monitors and the IV placed, my nurse filled my eyes with a variety of dilation and numbing drops and iodine. The surgeon came in and confirmed information and drew on my eye with a small pen, marking the location of the new lens and point of astigmatism. Then I was wheeled into surgery.

Adjustments to the chair left me feeling a bit like I was hanging from a inversion therapy device. The nurse returned with more iodine scrub for around my eyes and to tape my head to the headrest. I heard the surgeon near and asked if I’d been given the relaxation drugs, I was feeling much too awake for my comfort level. I soon felt the lightness from the drugs in my head and then only heard the surgeon tell me that I would feel a bit pressure or to look for a blue light. I really did not feel or hear anything else until I awoke in the recovery room. This was apparently quite normal as the surgeon needed me awake and my eyes focused during the procedure.

As mentioned in my previous post, my journey into the light began when I first experienced sight through my newly implanted lens. I unleashed tears at the recognition of the can lights on the ceiling, clear and defined. My nurse, Tammy shared in my joy as I cried, thanked my mom for being with me and saw 20/20 out of one eye for the first time in my life.

The next 2 weeks were difficult. The healing went very well; however, the next week wearing my right contact lens left me with an uneven sight pattern. The 2 lenses did not work in tandem, so I stumbled around a bit and juggled some old readers. Week 2 was worse. I could not wear my right contact for the following 7 days, so attempted to wear my glasses without the left lens until the next surgery. This lens did not work at all with my new implanted lens. This left me at home, watching TV and holding my cell phone 3 inches from my face to check emails and social media.

Something I wasn’t expecting was the lack of mid-range vision. I was suggested, never promised, that my clear vision would exist from about computer/dashboard to 20/20 distance vision. I had resigned myself to having to use readers for anything closer, as is perfectly normal for someone in their 50’s. Following my 1st surgery, I realized that my mid-range was closer to 3-4 feet away. Sometimes better, but definitely not as discussed. I worried that my decision to select distance as my Level 1 vision of choice.

Part of the delay in surgery from summer 2022 to winter 2022 as to await the production of a Level 2 lens from the manufacturer. This would’ve enabled me to see both distance and mid-range with more certainty. As we got closer and closer to the surgery date, I worried if the office had in fact received confirmation of the lens production. My disappointment was palpable when they called to tell me the manufacturer determined they had not produced the increased power lens, and they were uncertain when or even if this would be produced in the near future.

With $2,700 in my FSA designated to pay for this surgery and the end of the year looming, I had to decide whether to wait and risk losing most of this savings or move ahead with a Level 1 selection. I had already designated another $2,800 for 2023 to use for the 2nd eye and it was unclear when this new contact would be, or if it would be produced. Dave and I elected to move forward. I started wearing glasses at the age of 7, and I suspect even before that I did not have 20/20 vision. The idea of seeing mountains, cities, crowds was too exciting a prospect to pass by.

Finally, January 4th and my second surgery arrived! I never thought I’d feel so excited to be headed into surgery. I arrived early, and in light of a bit of confusion that morning, probably a good thing. There had been some confusion about my records and billing which likely didn’t concern them as much as it did me. My confidence in the staff was such that I sent Dave back to the car to wait (we were babysitting our grandpup Nell that morning, so she and Papi went to Starbucks to wait.) Once again nurse Tammy took me back and started the familiar process.

The worst part for me is the IV placement. Rambling usually gets me through it and this time was no different. I hardly felt anything, which, as it turns out, is not a great thing. After wheeling me into surgery it was discovered that the IV had failed. After 3 more tries, the anesthesiologist was able to finally inject the relaxation drugs. The surgeon got to work right away. A little too quickly as I was witness to the rest of the prep, placing a clamp over my eye, multiple showers of numbing drugs, the drape over my face. I experienced a bit more than I wished I had, but it was over very quickly. I don’t remember the trip back to recovery.

I woke in recovery with the plastic shield over my right eye and perfectly clear vision. Much less emotional, I was allowed to sit in the waiting room for Dave to pick me up. Drugs took awhile to leave my system as I napped and ate my way through the afternoon.

The next day I tested 20/20 in my left eye and 20/25 in my right eye. My perfect vision is a dream come true. That Friday I barely touched my eye and ended up back at my doctor’s office with a small scratch. I am following my surgeon’s orders strictly, with regular prescription eye drops, no makeup, no touching, no lifting and wearing my eye shield when sleeping.

I can already tell that I’m going to struggle getting back to work. My eyes get weary after a bit of time and my strength is slowly returning after having so much time off. The next 30 days will be a healing process while waiting for any inflammation to resolve itself at which point I will meet with my eye doctor for my final eye test and fitting for a few pairs of “cool girl” glasses, including a fun pair of new Maui Jim aviators with bifocal readers. I’ve got the rest of my FSA funds to blow and it’s all going to several pairs of readers.

And that’s my update. The gift of light is incredible! More than I could have ever imagined. It’s going to take time for it to really sink in, but for now, I’m going to take my eyes out for a joyride into the world. Planning on hiking with my youngest and some long drives with David and Daisy. I can’t wait to see everything in bright, clear colors.

I’ll provide some updates when the dust settles. For now, it’s getting back to work tomorrow. Getting up early, dressing for work (still sans makeup) and putting some mileage on these new lenses!

Thank you all for your continued prayers!

Gabby

You can't make this stuff up ...

You can’t make this stuff up …

Just when you think you’ve got it figured out … here comes another hiccup.

A longer, more substantial description of my eye surgery experience is coming, but for now a short note to share a bit of “it’s not really that funny so why am I laughing” news.

As discussed in a previous blog, I have a strict set of presurgical rules. One of them being no contacts in the eye for 1 week prior to surgery. Now, I knew there would likely be some hiccups my 3rd week in. I would be post-surgery on my left eye for 1 week, after having worn my 2+ years old glasses for the week prior. I could then wear my right contact lens for 1 week, which didn’t exactly work with my left eye, but worked well enough that I could manage. What I didn’t really expect was my mid-close range vision would require readers. I anticipated a lower need for readers, but accepted this as my new normal and that’s ok. My crystal clear distance vision is now better than 20/20 and I am thrilled!

My appointment with my regular eye doctor (Dr. Shauna Mazzula in Kent who I would HIGHLY recommend) was yesterday and my left eye is healing nicely and she’s very impressed with my new vision. We discussed my next week in my glasses and she removed the left lens from my glasses in preparation for the next day. All is good, right?

So for those of you who have difficult vision, you may understand that even if you have lenses available to each eye, they may not work in tandem. Additionally, your contact lens prescription may not be a match to the lens in your eye glasses. And so the saga continues …

Upon removing my contact last night, I put on my glasses only to find out it CLEARLY DID NOT operate with my post op left eye! I mean seriously WTH … not only that but I can’t use my readers because they don’t work with either eye.

So until next Wednesday, I will be operating with a single eye that can only see distance-mid range. I’ll be holding my phone within 2 inches of my face to check social media, avoiding Dave’s instruction to wear a helmet around the house and watching TV because that’s the only thing I can do.

So … cue the laughter! You just can’t make this shit up.

All my love,

Gabby

Tears, tears and more tears ...

God bless nurses

for all they do to soothe emotional patients

“Are you okay hunny? ”

— Tammy - Northwest Eye Surgeon Nurse

Apparently the surgical center does mot see “young people” like me often. Upon reflection, this particular surgery is 99% more likely in people in their 70’s, 80’s and 90’s. General cataract surgery is quite common, in fact, Dave discovered during his 1.5 hour wait that the US performs 2 million cataract surgeries per year. 20 million world wide. (Apparently, it also decreases the likelihood of experiencing a hip fracture by 16%. LOL) Only in these odd circumstances do severely visually impacted patients elect to undergo this life changing procedure. My FSA funds were depleted by $2,200 for the new lens in my Left eye (the surgical costs being covered by my insurance due to my decreased night vision).

I’m certain my nurse was quite surprised to see me crying when she came to check on me following surgery. To be honest, the “relaxation drugs” they gave me via IV didn’t feel like they did much. I was totally ok to get up and walk out as soon as they unhooked me. So once I was freed, I opened my eyes and immediately started looking around the room. The first thing I saw was the can light in the ceiling, then the machines, then my feet … I could hardly believe I could actually see outlines of objects. I was so emotional I started to cry. After living in a world of Monet-like images, I was suddenly seeing so clearly. She opted to give me a few minutes to myself to cry it out. My first thought “Mom, it worked! Thank you for being here!”

I lost it again when I saw Dave in the waiting room, and maybe a few more times yesterday. I’m sure it was like seeing one of those babies experiences glasses or hearing aids for the first time.

As I write, it is 6:00 AM in the morning. I’m sitting in the livingroom with the Christmas lights shining, watching the news with only a Right contact in, and catching you up on my status. I’m working on my laptop, still a bit fuzzy but doable.

It’s almost certain I will require reading glasses following my next surgery. I elected to have my distance vision the focus of my new lenses, since I have never seen the world clearly, even with prescription lenses. I will be age-appropriately in need of some readers, but this I will never regret.

I will post another blog soon describing the surgery and my experience. I have a follow up this morning and a check up with my eye doctor next week. My Right eye surgery is January 4th (with another $2,200 hit to my 2023 FSA funds. LOL) so this saga isn’t over yet.

In the meantime, I appreciate the birthday wishes yesterday!! Of course, I enjoyed the Jack Ryan Season 3, taking a couple short naps and having my little family around to keep me company. Sleep was a little difficult last night simply because I couldn’t sleep on my left side or with my face shoved into my pillow which is my normal “not doctor recommended” sleep position. But my eye does not hurt. My iPhone alarms are set for my eye drops routine and I’m going to enjoy the few weeks at home.

Happy holidays ! Be sure to be thankful for the gifts God has given you - and today I am thankful for Dr. Israelsen who has gifted me the ability to see our beautiful world.

Gabby

Happy birthday to me ...

Being Brave …

Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.

Tomorrow’s the day. My surgeon bumped up my surgery to 8:50 AM tomorrow. Thankfully, it’s just hitting me this afternoon. I’ve kept myself so busy doing everything to get the family ready for the holidays. Taking breaks here and there to celebrate 2 other family birthdays, a little getaway last weekend, and lots of time with family. Our last criminal trial of the year has kept my thoughts occupied at work. But today is my last day in the office for 2022, so it’s hitting me now like a ton of bricks.

I have only a slight idea of what will happen once I arrive at the surgeon’s office. They’ll be giving me an IV, but only to relax me, I’ll be awake during the procedure. They’ll keep me on the edge of consciousness so that my eye will focus throughout the process. Apparently, I will only see a point of light and my eye will be completely numb. I shouldn’t feel anything. So they told me … and I pray they’re right. Afterall, I get the 2nd eye done in another 2 weeks.

Regardless, I’m laying low for a few weeks. Hopefully, I’ll be able to use my right contact in that eye for the next week. I’m really excited to watch Jack Ryan Season 3 during my time off. I think Emily in Paris also releases tomorrow! I’ll have plenty to listen to … and probably rewatch after falling asleep from time to time. Live in jammies until company arrives on Sunday for Christmas.

Thank you everyone for your well wishes and prayers. I’ve had incredible support - but put me in your thoughts tomorrow morning. Prayers that my surgeon’s hands are steady and true.

I’m certain my mom will be watching out for me and Dave will take care of me when I’m done. All day naps and cuddles with Little Miss Nell, my grandpuppy, is worth all this trouble.

Gabby out until I can see my computer screen again

… and Happy Birthday to me!

Big changes

It’s all about the details

I spoke earlier this year about the eye surgery I had scheduled with a reputable eye surgeon in the Seattle area. The procedure is called Phacemulsification (small incision cataract surgery) with prescription lens correction. Originally, this was scheduled in August 2022. About a month prior to surgery, my surgeon’s office called to inform me the lenses he had requested from the manufacturer would not be available until “winter”. They rescheduled my surgery for December 21st in hopes the lens would be available.

I heard from him again in November. The manufacturer indicated the lenses would not be available and they had no new deadlines to report. It could be summer 2023 or never.

Anyone who’s had severely poor eyesight understands the fear of total vision loss. We’ve been chasing perfect eyesight and spending oodles of money on correction. I’ve likely spent well over $25,000 over my lifetime on glasses, contacts, prescriptions, co-pays. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I NOT had vision insurance coverage!

Another conversation with my surgeon was necessary, as well as communication with his office and my FSA provider to figure out my next steps.

• Do I wait until the perfect lenses are released?

• If so, how long do I wait?

• How will not moving forward affect my FSA money since nearly $2,200 would be lost for 2022 and possibly $2,900 for 2023!

• Or, do I move forward with the best possible lens option and start living my better life?

In the end, I decided to move forward. I made calls to my people, talked about it with Dave and I believe this is the best solution. Because the upgraded lenses, the family and I are on the hook for close to $6,000, much of that is already wrapped up in a FSA account. $2,700 for 2022 and $2,900 for 2023. Only $500 would roll over into 2023, and with the timing now at the end of the year, we are up against a ticking clock. More importantly … I am ready to start living my best life NOW!

So many of my vision professionals agree that this surgery is life-changing! I have a difficult time even imagining what it will be like to open my eyes and see clearly, or just see! No more panicking when my glasses accidentally fall off the bedside table, or forgetting to bring extra contacts on trips, forgetting solution or contact cases or glasses, dry eyes, dirty contacts, running out of contacts, eye injuries. I have never been able to be in water or splashing water on my face without losing lenses and everyone in my life fears me driving at night (often hanging on for dear life!)

I have chosen contacts focused on distance, since that was taken from me at the age of 6 or 7. According to the surgeon, with the lenses we’ve now agreed upon, I should see distance at 20/20 and only need reading glasses for small print up close. Since I’ve been wearing readers for even watching TV ON TOP OF my current contact prescription, I’ve decided not to wait for this new life. On the plus side, given the separate surgery dates, I will be able to use FSA funds for each eye, Left eye will take the 2022 funds and the Right eye will take the 2023 funds. Additionally, the change in lens type will cost a total of $2,000 less than originally budgeted.

While I’m nervous about the surgery, the countdown is a struggle! These next 9 days are going to be the longest of my life! It started to sink in when I realized tomorrow will be the last day I will ever need to wear a contact in my Left eye. Like EVER! One week prior to surgery, I am required to stop wearing my contacts (and make up … ugh) in order to give my eyes a rest. Following that surgery, I will be allowed to wear my Right contact for a week, and then on 12/28 I will stop wearing that contact and be running around my house in a pair of glasses with the lens removed from the Left side - so yeah - I’m staying home. LOL

Wish me luck! I’m impaneling a jury this week, so these people will get me in all my glory, although I've taken sick leave for much of my 3-week recovery. I’ll try to Blog a bit more about this process since so many people have asked for updates and my process. If I’m the ginny pig, then I’m going to move forward with bravery and fully paying attention to my feelings, surgery and outcomes.

Wish me luck and stay tuned for posts for the next week!

With love … Gabby

45% off Sseko Apparel tonight!

45% off my favorite apparel pieces

Those who know me well understand I have a style all my own. Luckily, I have my “go to” styles from a few of my favorite retailers.

• JJill

• Nordstrom Point of View

• Athleta

• SSEKO DESIGNS!!

The first 3 being more likely to show up in a “Who Wore It Better” photo opportunity, SSEKO Designs never fails to provide me with individuality and easy travel pieces. Of course, it always feels so much better when I can say “This was made for me by fair trade artisans in Uganda”.

Here are a few of my favorite go to pieces:

Magic pants

I had my doubts about these pants, but they are truly magical! They look gorgeous on every body, comes in sizes 2-24, packable, breezy, slimming and comfortable. I have the KAWA print and wore them recently to Mexico over my swimsuit. I also wore them on the plane. Oh and walking around Todos Santos shopping. I started wearing them back when the weather was still bad in Seattle with my tall boots and now with my sandals and a pair of wedges.

Whatever parts your hiding, they will magically make you look beautiful!

Also worth mentioning Is the Kawa Tank also featured above. It is reversible, can be worn inside out, as a vest and is #1 in my rotation of clothes! It pairs beautifully with my linen pants from JJill, my Sseko magic pants to create a secret jumpsuit, my staple jean shorts, or any of my Athleta wide leg linen pants or joggers.

Dresses

I also bought the Kawa print in the dress and it’s such a staple piece for your closet.

• Coverup

• Dress with heels for date night

• Layered with leggings for air travel

• Boots and long sweater in the winter

• Sandals for outdoor concerts and markets

There are literally dozens of ways you can wear these dresses, including reversed! A low “V-neck” or ballet neckline paired with reversible on seam pockets. POCKETS! It also comes with a skinny fabric belt that you can wear around the waist or perhaps as a skinny tie accessory for around your neck, as a belt with your favorite pants or decorating your purse.

I recently gifted the Solstice to my friend Rita in Mexico. She LOVES Sseko and was thrilled. She’s a petite little thing, but modest. I hope she loves how beautiful it will make her feel.

Kaftan

Ah, the Kaftan. Soft, long and totally gorgeous. I feel like I’m channeling Elizabeth Taylor in these “Halston-esque” wearable works of art. I MAY have about 6 of them in my closet (well except for the one that my daughter stole from me recently!") I’ve worn these to work, to bed, when laying around the house, traveling, fancy dinners, weddings, etc. I wore one of my favorites to my niece’s wedding several years ago and I felt beautiful.

If you’re wondering “I will feel swallowed up in this big dress” you couldn’t be more wrong.

I’ve always told my girls “You should feel as beautiful covered up and confident as you would in the most gorgeous gown.” Confidence and style IS SEXY. I don’t remember anyone ever saying that Elizabeth Taylor looked old and dumpy. She shown like the starlet she was and so will you.

“Like a Girl is a compliment” Tee

This is literally the softest and quality tee I’ve ever worn. These are the only ones I have hanging in my closet (the others are all in drawers waiting to be tossed out because they’re never worn). I have had so many compliments each time I wear these. I feel like I’m supporting “women’s rights” like a Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

They’re dressy enough to pair with a pair of slacks for work, maybe under a long sweater or blazer. I throw them in my Sseko duffle for trips to Crescent Bar or overnights with Dave. They can dress up a pair of cutoff jean shorts or with your Sseko magic pants.

I sincerely hope these will make the transition to the Noonday Collection!! Grab one just in case!

sale starts 10:00 pm pst tonight. don’t miss out on the great birthday deals and celebrate the collaboration of these two beautiful companies!

I'm back in the game ...

Noonday Collaboration

Sseko Designs + Noonday are now one Fair Trade powerhouse

What a whirlwind life has been these last 6 months! Things in the Jacobsen household have been crazy with all the home remodels, senior film productions, party planning, graduation ceremonies and vacations. We are finally at a place where I can physically take a break and breathe.

It was quite a surprise when I was approached by Monique, my former Sseko Director, who shared the news that my beloved Sseko Designs, led by the one-and-only Liz Bohanan, had joined forces with another Fair Trade powerhouse, Noonday, to create a new company supporting women globally. Your favorite, top quality Sseko designs will now be sold alongside Noonday’s creatively beautiful jewelry and accessories.

This exciting new collaboration peaked my interest and I decided to come back on board as a Sseko Fellow to see where this new adventure would lead me. You know I’ve always been a sucker for some great accessories and now my former Chloe + Isabel customers can join me in purchasing some great jewelry at an awesome price point. (And feel great doing it!)

13th Birthday Sale

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13th Birthday Sale 〰️

Farewell to Sseko?! What?! Don't panic - I'm not going anywhere (and neither is Sseko, really)! Our beautiful, impactful brand you've come to love is all grown up (13 to be exact!) and we are taking a new name as we join forces with Noonday Collection. I am thrilled to get to co-create our new, collaborative, best-in-class fair trade brand, and I can't wait to share it all with you!

BUT FOR NOW...

As we close this chapter on Sseko's 13th Birthday, we are celebrating our impact with the BIGGEST BIRTHDAY BLOWOUT you've ever seen!!

Join me July 6-11 as we bid farewell to HUNDREDS of beautiful, quality, handmade products. We can't take it all with us, so YOU benefit the deepest discounts you've ever seen!!

HOW TO SHOP:

I will be posting on my personal Facebook/IG page until the end of July. August marks the start of the official change to Noonday - then I will create more business dedicated social media pages.

For now, you can click on the link below to shop. If you're new, welcome! Each day features a different deal, so make sure to enable all notifications and comment on the welcome post so you don't miss out.

KEY TIPS:

Don’t hesitate! Things move very quickly around a Birthday sale. Unfortunately, all the items are kept secret until the daily reveal. Each day has a theme, so watch for the posts on my social media pages. Browse the online catalog and make a list of the items you’re interested in. Then figure everything will be approximately 40% off and narrow down you list. Check out sizing - call me for more information. Then on the morning of the sale, click BUY and CHECKOUT!

PLEASE NOTE:

All Birthday Sale items are Final Sale. No returns/exchanges. If you are unsure of your size, please reach out to me directly! I find the sizing very accurate, sizes XS to XXXL! The descriptions and US sizing using a variety of models is extremely helpful, so check it out.

The sale starts on Wednesday, July 6th … watch for more information!!

Phacemulsification (small incision cataract surgery)

Phacemulsification

Small-incision cataract surgery

I was prescribed my first set of glasses when I was in 2nd grade. I couldn’t see the chalkboard from the front row of the classroom and was the first in my class to be called “4-eyes”. And I had some beauties … big, brown, plastic frames with fancy gold sides that I added fingernail flower stickers to make them look cool. (Ok, it didn’t help.) That ended any dreams I had of being a swimmer or any manner of sports actually. My glasses either had to come off or fog up because back in the day my parents couldn’t afford specialized goggles. However, my dance instructor allowed me to go onstage without them as long as I knew the dance well enough not to run into anyone. That worked until I hit 8th grade when my sister found me an eye doctor stupid enough to give a growing girl some soft contacts.

The trouble with soft contacts is they tend to worsen your prescription over time. As I grew older, my vision just kept getting worse until somewhere in my 30’s, I hit -11 and -11.5, legally blind. And even then, my distance wasn’t the best because contact manufacturers either didn’t make soft contacts that strong, or my astigmatism was too great for total correction.

In the mornings, nothing happens until I put my contacts on. I can’t read my shampoo bottles and everything is done by touch more or less. I can’t wear my glasses when I dry my hair because they are generally fogged up. Doing my make up is a joke. So, I have generally worn my contacts from 5:30am until about 9:00pm or later, depending on my evening plans. Again, not generally approved by the AOA (American Optometric Association).

To answer the question you must be wondering by now … Lasix is not an option for me. My eyesight is too poor.

My oldest sister was one of the first patients in the PNW for RK surgery, or Radial Keratotomy. This procedure was one used prior to Lasix for vision correction, pre-laser surgery. Following years of struggles, she ended up needing corneal transplants and sued her surgeon in a class-action medical malpractice suit after he skipped the country for his country home in England. (I’ll add for context that this was the same doctor who gave me contacts at the age of 13.)

At age 50, I’d given up on any dreams of vision correction because of my fear of losing my sight altogether or the exorbitant cost of a surgery not covered by my insurance. I’d flirted with the idea for the last few years, but couldn’t envision us spending well over $10,000 on surgery to improve what I would deem an “inconvenience”. My husband thought differently.

Right around my 50th birthday, he asked me to inquire with my eye doctor during my last annual eye exam (which for me was as depressing as a pelvic exam) for a referral to an eye surgeon who could perform the vision correction surgery. I instructed her to select a nationally recognized surgeon for me. Someone who she would trust. Lucky for me, he is local. She told me she was recently involved in a conference where Dr. Paul Israelsen spoke on the latest Cataract Surgery advancements and how his clinic was excelling in the field.

So I maxed out my FSA funds and made an appointment.

“Your vision is so poor that I will agree to perform your surgery.” He explained that my quality of life is strongly affected by my inability to live a full life and the beginning stages of cataracts can already be measured. After a bit of back and forth about surgical costs (the office does not often get requests for patient paid vision correction surgery) the doctor reached out and indicated because of my declining blurry night vision over the past several years, he would bill the surgical costs to my insurance company.

I had no idea my quality of life was affected - I have never known the ease of clear vision. I guess it’s like my nephew who thought everyone’s feet hurt because adults around him would say “Oh, my feet hurt.” It never occurred to him that he should tell my sister about his feet hurting so he could get orthotics.

Appointments were made. Dave and I foot the bill for the corrective lenses - at 1/2 the cost of the total procedure.

I can hardly believe this is happening.

Initial thoughts - there is NEVER a good time to do this. Between a kid graduating college, trip to Mexico, summer holidays, work, having to wear glasses for weeks at a time, 2 separate surgeries, no makeup for over a month I think! (I mean really WTH.) Maybe sometime in the fall before we leave for Europe, I might have better vision and be able to wake up and actually SEE the Cliffs of Mohr and the Isle of Skye. Maybe I won’t have to worry about spending all night at the Temple Bar because my contacts are drying out. Maybe I don’t have to carry boxes of contacts with me because you never know when one will break. Or allergies!!

I think I can be okay with all of that. Now I just need mom to give me strength and the surgeon a good night’s sleep and a steady hand.

More updates to come! (First I have to reschedule the 1st surgery because there’s no way I’m wearing my glasses on the boat during Fourth of July weekend!)

Much love,

Gabby